This morning I nearly drowned my child with those wretched vitamin D drops without which you can't possibly hope to raise a healthy child (*eyeroll*).
I was all set to administer a little liquid sunshine to my little sunshine when I noticed that my usual dropper decided to go hang out in the magical land that has claimed the other half of Jade's socks and most of my pre-baby sexdrive and so was mysteriously unavailable. I pulled out the one that came with my baby first aid kit which I'd been avoiding mainly because it looks more like a turkey baster than an infant dropper. The thing is scary-huge...
My other observation has been that if I let her suck it out herself she makes a mess. My genius solution was of course to put the dropper farther into her mouth and squeeze it rather than let her attack the end pyranah-style. I clearly mis-gauged the necessary velocity which resulted in a stream of sugary liquid being unexpectedly launched down her esophagus. I figuered all was well since she remained quiet. (well-meaning people who ask "how do you know she's not too cold/too hungry/too tired etc" make me laugh...one advantage of a spirited child is you never need to wonder if something is wrong when your kid screams if you dare set her swing one setting slower than her Majesty deems appropriate...)
Anyway I was about to self-high-five and declare my administration successful when I noticed her eyes were kindof bugging out. It was weird. And her little face was getting all red. It didn't take me long to put two and two together and panic. I grabbed her and frantically started patting (okay fine, "smacking") her back. My heroic efforts (sidethought: is it "heroic" if you endangered the person in the first place..?) were rewarded by projectile purple barf all over my shirt and I've never been so glad...
Actually I must say she was rather forgiving about the whole thing. She didn't even cry. She just stared at me with a sortof confused expression. I wonder if almost-choking on grape syrup is the baby equivalent of almost-drowning in a vat of 20-year old Porto; After it's over you have to admit there could be worse ways to go...
Misha
Hilarious as always Misha. Don't feel too bad. I think we've all almost killed our kids at one time. I know "someone" who let one kid roll off the bed at 4 months old and let her other 11 month old fall down some stairs. Both kids are fine and healthy and don't remember either event. ;)
ReplyDeleteShe's alive, you're a hero. :)
ReplyDeleteHey, sweet mama, You figured it out, right? Don't beat yourself up too much! Do you and Jade get outa the house and stroll around in the parks and by ways of your area? If you're out and about for 15 minutes or more each day, she is getting enough vitamin D. If not, if you are breastfeeding, mother nature depletes YOU thru the milk before letting baby have too little. She figures you can replenish easier than baby Jade can.
ReplyDeleteRelax, sweetheart, take a deep breath.
I love your posts, wish I had had the same outlet, but luckily I had a couple of mothers who had children older than mine (younger moms of course, since I was an 'old woman' when I had Caitlin! LOL)that helped take a lot of the angst and mystery out of the equation for me.